posted 02-12-2002 12:26
My "unsolicited issues" (this is a public forum) are that it appears that you two ought to get your stories straight….
I have noted over the months that anyone who challenges the McClung clan is vehemently and personally attacked, banned or the thread is locked out or removed.
I guess I think your reckless quacks...
I received the following rewrites of the orginal review submitted by the McClung's from a couple of folks who were afraid to be banned….I am not.
After pulling my self off the floor, I believe that these may actually benefit your overall work situation. Now Kevin will not be distracted from “his work” to have to re-research, re-refrabricate, re-resell the movie rights, re-republish the book.
These reviews really ought to sell, and at the same time the protect the identity of all those involved.
As a former CIA agent and current member of the WWF, I can verify all of Mad Dog’s claims and then some. If I understand his detractors correctly they would have us believe that he is:
(1) a pathological liar who has built a false identity by associating himself with real life members of the tactical community
(2) a pathetic wannabe AKA Harvey Milquetoast
Now I’ll be the first to admit, it does seem strange that Kevin makes the following claims, which seem to contradict themselves,
“I am the subject of the work, but it is a work of fiction. Many of the events occurred much as portrayed in the text…I have had nothing to do with the project for some time now…”
And yes, it also seems strange that in spite of Kevin’s assertion that he has had nothing to do with the project for some time and that it is a work of fiction, someone (Teryl McClung) who seems to know him personally, shares his last name and city of residence, posted a positive review of the book on Amazon.com on February 24, 2001, in which she stated.
“…It took him several months to pour over the information and reconstruct the events portrayed in this biography…The story is REAL…”
Well I don’t care if all the facts seem to expose Kevin as a lifetime member of the loser hall of fame, because to all his detractors I say…You weren’t there!
You weren’t there in Biafra in ‘62 (or was it ‘63?) when Kevin had his shins shot off while attacking a machine gun nest manned by renegade Jesuits. Don’t believe me? Just stick an ice pick in his shin the next time you run into him…you’ll see.
You weren’t there in Rio de Janeiro when Kevin uncovered a plot to splice Hitler’s genes with the Antarctic King Penguin, thereby creating a race of hideously blond aquatic birds that could march like nobody’s business.
You weren’t there when Kevin infiltrated Ibriham Haddad’s (the morbidly obese yet sweetly perfumed arms dealer with a taste for man-children) evil organization by posing as Ibriham’s hairless pleasure boy and submitting to all manner of humiliating acts (the fact that Kevin volunteered to go back to gather more information even though we had assured him we had enough, only speaks to the depths of his bravery)
You weren’t there when Kevin and his trained chimpanzee, Chim-Chim, defeated Racer X at the ‘76 Lemans.
You weren’t there at the debutantes’ ball in Tennessee when Kevin described his idea for a revolutionary form of global communication to a young senator’s son who later took credit for Kevin’s monumental vision that would come to be known as The Internet
You weren’t there when Mr. Miyagi taught him the arcane secrets of the oriental arts of pugilism (alas, even Mr. Miyagi was no match for Chim-Chim on a Crack Cocaine bender, but that’s another story and probably best told by Kevin who was actually present on that dark and fateful day).
And of course, I’ll never forget the Madagascar Gerbil Gambit, it seemed to me at the time that there had to be a better way to smuggle plutonium, but Kevin insisted and it all came out well in the end (Note to would be plutonium smugglers: It really makes a difference if you declaw the Gerbils first).
I could go on, but anyone who at this point is not convinced as to the strength of Kevin’s integrity and the might of his deeds is certainly a moron who doesn’t belong on this site and should go elsewhere posthaste. And if you continue to attempt to cast doubts on the veracity of Kevin McClung’s claims, be well and truly warned that one night you may fall victim to a lead spitting paperback edition of the Necronomicon, or worse, a banana grenade of the same type that did poor Chim-Chim in.
Keep your chin up Kevin, and remember what you once said so many years ago, “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!”
It is absolutely amazing what you can find on the web. After a rigorous and diligent search of little known CIA, FBI archives, I unearthed the following declassified memo that give the real review of the “Dark Genius”
FOR OFFICAL USE ONLY
Dork Genius (Taken from his Discussion Board), Mr. McCKlunk finally surfaces
A sappy collection of a delusional sociopath---wondering if his medication bottles can be used as a weapon on an aircraft---who later enters the shadow world of knife sales and internet discussion board forums. Raised in the San Francisco Bay area in the late 60’s, McKlunk was the adopted son of the Unibomber, Ted Kaczynski see: http://www.freedomdomain.com/mindcontrol/kaczynski01.html, and gave early proof of his own propensity to distort the truth. While left to play in his bedroom, he managed to burn down the house by sticking a toy rifle into an electrical socket, only to blame his younger sister for the disaster. McKlunk was immediately accepted into the prestigious institution known as Juvenile Hall and his projects there were closely monitored by senior staff personnel. His lunch pale was subsequently stolen and is still the subject of an intense internal investigation.
At 14, McKlunk changed his name to McKluck after meeting long time master spy Austin Powers who taught him everything he knew about irreverent marketing. A top Barnum and Bailey circus animal trainer then introduced McKluck to the difficult task of stall cleaning, McKluck had already been exposed to several rashes and was asked to stop spending so much time with these animals in strange positions as a few of them did not survive.
Eventually, McKluck fell in with Martha Stuart, a CIA decorator, and Gabby Tombaum, a jewelry store owner, who together had formed Ineedya Ltd., to this day the intense love triangle still inspires many daytime soap operas. McKlunk then changed his name to McDuck and refined a new set of insecticide pellets that can be currently purchased at Home Depot if you know the secret pass phrase. Home Depot is trying to keep the whole thing hush-hush as Home Base in looking to take its business over. The corruption of capitalism has reared its ugly head. The rotten underbelly of corporate American is grippingly sliced open.
Home video rights sold.